Browsing Category


change, faith, love, marriage, parenting


Me: Boys, BOYS!!! GET IN HERE.  We need to talk about something.

A mini earthquake is created by the feet pounding down the stairs.  They are assuming they are in trouble.  Their minds mentally searching for the mess they forgot to clean up or the chore they didn’t do.  They breath a sigh of relief when they see excited smiles on Tim’s and my face.

Tim:  Guess what?  Today is a historical day.  Great news just got reported.

Me: So, today, the Supreme Court just passed a really positive law.  The Supreme Court is the highest court in our country.  They are like the bosses of all our country’s laws.  What they say goes.  Do you know what equality for all means?

Both nod their heads.

Me: It’s like what Martin Luther King Jr. wanted everybody receiving all the same rights no matter who they were.  Well, today, the Supreme Court just said that everybody can get married.  Even if it’s a man and a man or a woman and a woman.

Luke:  That wasn’t already a law?

Tim:  Nope.  Some people in our country didn’t think gay or lesbian couples should have that right.

Luke: Why did they think that?

Tim: Well, some people read the Bible and interpret it in thinking that God thinks being gay and living a gay lifestyle is a sin.  Mom and I think that is a misinterpretation of the Bible.

Me: We think God made some people who love others who are the same sex as them and other people who love the opposite sex.

Tim:  Love is always a choice, no matter who you love.  When I met Mom, she made my heart go pitter patter.  It just so happened that she was a girl and I was a guy.  We are what people call heterosexual.  Some boys get crushes on boys and some girls get crushes on girls.  They are called homosexual because they love the same sex.    All of us will get to choose who to love and it doesn’t matter if it’s someone who is the same as you or opposite of you.  It’s never sinful to love.  God wants us to love, he demands it.  And He doesn’t care if you marry a man or a woman.  And now, in our country marriage is a right that everybody gets to have.

Jack: Cool.

Tim: Jack, do you think gay marriage should be legal?

Jack: Yeah.

Tim: Why?

Jack:  <<pauses>>  Well….I can’t think of any reason it should by Uh-legal.

Me:  Dad and I wanted to talk to you about this today because it’s so exciting for our country.  But, more importantly, we want to tell you that you can love whoever you want.  If you have a crush on a girl we want to hear about it.  If you have a crush on a boy, we would love to hear about it too, so we can get excited with you.

Tim:  And boys, we wanted to let you know that there is absolutely nothing you can do that would make us stop loving you.  Even if you hurt us, or stopped talking to us forever, or if you made a mistake, we would still love you.  No. Matter. What.  Even if you disagree with us on this issue or any other, everyday we will love you more than the day before.

Me: You guys know that right?  That no matter what you do, or who you love, we will never ever stop loving you and supporting you.

Luke and Jack: Yep.

By this time, I realized they were getting  a little antsy and kept glancing out the window.

The neighbor boy had set up his Slip n Slide and I saw that they had already suited up in their swim trunks.

Me: You guys want go out and play in Jay’s yard, huh. (Both nod). Go for it.

I yelled a, “We love youuuuuu,” as they darted out the door, to play in a RAINBOW colored Slip n Slide.

Perfect.  This day couldn’t get any better.


deep down, faith, family, friends

The Next Step

Today is a one step in front of the other kind of day.  Yesterday was a struggle to get off the couch day.  There is progress being made, I know, but it still doesn’t feel like it.

Things have snowballed lately.  The good mixed with the hard.  We went along with Tim on his European business trip.  Then some of our besties came up to visit.  We buried my grandmother.  The woman who I always saw as our quiet matriarch.  As we ended another successful baseball season, I got asked to coach the summer All-Star team.  Then vacation ended, our friends flew home and we went back to normal life, knowing they would be states away and months would go by before we saw them again.  Summer is looming and our daily life will look different.  Jack’s birthday was a month ago and I haven’t even planned his party yet.  We need another car and I hate car shopping.

When the positive stuff gets mixed in with the hard situations, it all seems overwhelming.  I have a hard time compartmentalizing and I tend to overgeneralize so much so that I cannot pick out and appreciate the good.  The responsibilities and to-do lists pile up for even the positive happenings and those begin to turn negative in my mind.

The other day I was thinking of how magical it would be to go live off the grid, on some farm by a lake or river.  But then I realized that I would get so tired of wearing my hippy clothes after a few weeks and would begin to salivate at the thought of ordering a pizza.  There would be gardens to weed and grass to mow and my simple chic cabin to repair.  I threw my magical dream aside and consoled myself with the ease of online shopping.  Off-trail hippy dreams are so exhausting.

Yesterday I tried to do some of the things I know help in times like these.  I sent off some one liner prayers and meditations that St. Annie likes.  Help, please.  Thanks.  Then I opened up my bible and read about how we are all in this together.  There is no us and them, it’s just us.

But today I did the same thing and read about how there is us and them.  I got mad and sent off some more simple prayers.  Why?  I don’t get it.  I thought we are all in the same family.  The whole, us versus them thing hasn’t quite worked out in all of history.  So contradictory and off-message.

I took more baby steps, in hopes of jumping out of the hole.  I folded some laundry and made breakfast.  I went for a run, following the boys as they rode their bikes to school.  I waved and yelled,  “I love you!” as they waved back and pretended they didn’t hear that last part in front of their friends.  They’ve got to keep up appearances, I know that.

Today I am going to keep moving.  Keep breathing and putting one foot in front of the other.  It won’t always be like this.  I won’t always feel like this.  Tomorrow might be better or worse, but all I can accomplish is that next step.

For now, that next step will be to hit publish.  I might try to edit this a bit, but that will probably be too much for today, just a heads up.