e.r. visit

Hashtag Jack’s Fine

The first day of Winter Break started off with a bang.  Jack was able to log in his seventh e.r./urgent care visit.  I didn’t find him with his finger stuck in the shower drain like one of the last times.  This time there was screaming and a lot of blood.

I was inside while the boys were out front playing football with the neighbor boy.  I heard the cry that all parents know of.  It wasn’t the I’m kind of embarrassed and kind of hurt cry.  It wasn’t my big brother is being mean to me and I want to get him in trouble cry.  It wasn’t the frustrated cry, or the tired cry.  It was the pause before the big breath in, high pitched, I’m seriously hurt cry.

Tim got there first.  That’s a good thing because he’s much better at calming Jack down and he doesn’t get woozy at the sight of blood, like me.  When I got there, way too much blood was coming out of Jack’s face.  I ran to get a rag and some ice.  Jack had fallen onto the concrete driveway and smashed his face.  He ended up biting through the skin above his top lip.  The neighbor boy ran to get his mom because she’s an e.r. nurse and she knows about this kind of stuff.  Before we moved here, we interviewed all the neighbors and made sure there was some sort of medical professional close by because, well, as I said, this was Jack’s seventh emergency trip.  Of course we didn’t do that, but she’s also the one who keeps rescuing Clementine so I think either we are really really lucky or someone upstairs is looking out for us.

Once the crying and blood flow stopped, she was able to check him out.  His lip was already puffing up and a tooth was loose.  He swore it was a baby tooth and that it was already wiggly.  I couldn’t remember which teeth he’d lost and which ones were those that he was supposed to have for the rest of his life.  I know that makes me sound like a horrible mother but since the tooth fairy stopped coming to our house I can’t be held responsible for keeping track of things like this.  Side note:  when we figured out that the boys were banking on how many teeth they would have to lose to save up for their favorite toy we told her to stop coming.  I heard Luke say, “I only have to lose 5 more teeth to buy that lego!”  It was only a matter of time before they would start pulling out their teeth so we shut that operation down.

Our neighbor gave us a tip on a great urgent care place close by so I loaded Jack up with ice and headed over there.  Luke wanted to come too so we made a field trip out of it, complete with tablets and the 3ds.  I had no idea how long we would have to wait and I really wasn’t in the mood to pull them off the walls every five seconds so screen time would be my savior.

Luckily, we got in within a half an hour.  The nurse started checking Jack’s vitals and his mouth.  At that point, I started feeling like I was going to faint.  All I could think of at that moment was, “No! How embarrassing!  You can’t faint in the doctor’s office!  They need to be taking care of Jackie, not you.  GET IT TOGETHER!”

I tend to faint a lot in public places and it’s quite embarrassing.  The last time it happened was in a tattoo parlor, so that was awesome.  The artist gave me a sucker and assured me it happens a lot.  He uttered the rest of that sentence under his breath with, “during people’s first tattoos.”  Nice, thanks, I feel a whole lot better since this isn’t my first tattoo rodeo.    I’ve also fainted at church and while on a field trip when I was student teaching.  I’ve fainted while camping and fell out the back of the camper.  I woke up in my high school bathroom after trying to give blood at the school blood drive.  The best and most safe time happened while I was driving.  Luckily I pulled over first because now I’m familiar with the feeling that comes before the unconsciousness happens.  I woke up in my hastily parked van with my feet up on the dash.

For some of these I can blame my low blood pressure, some of them can be categorized as sympathy faints, but most are just wimpy, woozy, I can’t handle when you talk about internal injury faints.  I know this now because I can generalize the situations of when it happens.  I got woozy and almost fainted when I was picking Tim up from a surgery.  The  discharge nurse was explaining the surgery details and after care instructions and my vision started to wane.  Somehow I held that one off.

So, back in the urgent care with Jack, I felt my blood pressure dropping out and my vision going black. I don’t remember what the nurse was saying but I blurted out, “I have to get my feet up!  I’m going to faint!”  I skooched Luke off the chair and put my feet up on the exam bed where Jack was.  I know I can be selfish at times but I swear I didn’t want to make this medical visit all about me.  Please, just fix my son up and let’s get out of this place.  The nurse was very nice, but I swear she was looking at me like I was a little unstable.

The feet up trick worked and I was able to stay conscious.  Jack was bouncing around on the exam bed so I knew he was feeling fine.  The nurse left the room and we were left to wait for the doctor.  I told the boys I was going to text Daddy our status update.  “Okay!” Jack shouted out, “but make sure after you text that put: hashtag Jack’s fine.”  I giggled and followed his instructions.  At least his humor didn’t get smashed out of his face.

We found out the good news when the doctor came in to check his face out.  No stitches!  Just some dermaglue and a follow up with the dentist.  The doctor had the audacity to explain to me about how he was going to leave the cut open on the inside of the mouth.  That way the cut could drain and heal up.  I had to put my feet up after he said that and explain my propensity for going unconscious.  Geez, get it together lady, we’re talking about your son here, not you.

He was really quite nice, but my imagined dialogue of what he was thinking was working over time.  I had to get my self conscious self and my glued up son out of this office as fast as possible or I would probably die.

I called Tim and all the grandparents to update them on Jack’s latest medical emergency.  I made the mistake of driving while talking to my dad.  I started to tell him all about Jack’s injury when the feeling started to come back.  First of all, I’m talking on the phone while driving.  Stupid.  And then I throw in conversation about internal injury.  I’m not earning smart points here.  I switched the conversation quickly so I wouldn’t faint while driving with my boys in the car.  Oh my gosh!  How are we all still alive with me at the wheel?  Okay, new resolution beginning now: No more talking on the phone while driving, especially if discussing woozy subjects.

So we had a really eventful beginning to our supposed relaxing winter break.  But, you know, everything is alright because #jacksfine.


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